Writer's Block?

It has been quite a while since I have posted. When I started this blog, I promised myself that I would try to post at least once a week. I haven't even come close to that! This is supposed to be a journal of sorts but I'm finding it hard to find things to write about. For example, I would love to write more about my job, but I am really limited to almost nothing due to confidentiality laws. I am working full time right now. I haven't worked full time since the first few years that I became employed as a nurse. I was lucky to be able to work part time during the majority of the years that my children were home. Years ago, when I pictured myself as a wife and mother, I never saw myself in a profession working full time. I always thought that I would somehow finish school, get married, have children (4, 5, or 6-big ideas) and settle into blissful life being the perfect wife and mother.

Now as real life would have it, I didn't finish school before marriage, I did get married, I was thankfully able to have 3 children and I did settle into a happy life until a few years into my dream when we realized that health insurance was not a luxury but a necessity in our family. Since Brooks is self employed and we were unable to find any private insurance to cover me, I was the one to become the insurance policy carrier. Hence the nursing career. I have worked many, many nights, weekends, holidays and some just not so nice places and with some not so nice people to get to where I am working right now. To get the job that I have at this time, (and I plan to retire here) I had to accept a full time position. Most of the time I am really fine with the full time business but this past week I have really wished for part time and even no time. My reasons are good, I especially want more time to spend with my sweet, smart, funny, cuddly, and very, very special three grandchildren. I don't get to see my husband much, even though he is no longer a Bishop we have managed to fill in the extra time with I'm not sure what and we seldom see each other. I would like to be available to help my children and their families more. I have a difficult time arranging my work schedule if something pops up that I need to attend, let alone for fun stuff. I would like to keep my house cleaner and to get some unfinished projects finished. Sometimes work is stressful for me. I think that I handle stress quite well but once in a while it does get stressful.

Now the up-side of working. I really do love my job and the people that I work with. This is truly my dream job. I love to be busy and have things to do. If I was home all of the time I might get a little cranky. (I probably get that way sometimes anyway) HEALTH INSURANCE! There is no getting around this one. We have to have it and nothing has changed since I came to work. I watch my kids suffer with finding coverage and this is a never ending unbelievable problem!! The extra money is very helpful and we do many things that we wouldn't otherwise be able to do. The education and the knowledge that I can survive on my income if needed is priceless to me. So, this may sound like a big poor, poor me post, but it really isn't. Once in a great while I get like this, probably because this past week at work was a real bummer. I don't know any other way to describe it but I'm okay now and ready to move on. It's good to have challenges in life, it's good to feel growth and to learn. If I really could stay home all of the time, I would probably spoil my grandchildren so much that their parents would ban them from my house.