Remembering Octobers Past

Today my grandson, Jaxon, started talking about my brother Kim. He said he could remember him but sometimes he had a hard time remembering Kim's name. Kim died two years ago this month. Kim was always really good to Jax, even going as far as to buy him toys on occasion. The day of Kim's funeral, Jax asked me several questions about where Kim would be and when we would see him again. He seemed to understand my explanations and he has never asked again. This is why I was a little surprised that he remembered Kim. It was also three years ago this month that Jaxon and Brooks had their truck accident. Jax and Brooks both had some very amazing and spiritual events during this time, as did some of the rest of the family. For a long time, Jaxon would talk about the accident and could remember everything. He no longer remembers it. This is another reason why I was surprised that he was talking about Kim. I know that the veil is very thin. I'm also sure that these two knew each other in our pre-mortal existence. I'm also sure that they both knew about these two events in their lives before they came to this earth. Our family was so very blessed during Jaxon's and Brooks accident and recovery and we saw first hand some really great miracles. When Kim died, I was hoping for another miracle but I guess this was not the plan. I miss him.

I have been thinking a lot about Kim lately. Probably because October is the time that he died. I am also now the same age that he was when he died. I never in a million years thought that I would out live him. Kim was a good brother to me. We had the usual arguments and battles as children. I remember not speaking to him for about two years in our early teens. (really) Then one day it just seemed to suit us both to start talking again. We were pretty good friends after that. Kim would let me tag along with him and his friends once in a while. I consider them my friends also because of that. Kim was always really generous with me. I don't know if I've ever told anyone this story but when Kara was baptized, my whole family and Brooks's whole family met at the old Juniper Inn for dinner. Brooks and I didn't have a lot of money to spare and we felt like we should pay for every ones dinner. Needless to say, we were a little nervous about it. We had just decided to put it on our credit card and I left the table to pay the bill. All at once I noticed Kim standing by me and he said that he was going to pay for the dinner! I tried to argue with him but he insisted and then he payed for it. It's impossible to win an argument with Kim. I don't know how he knew what was going on but somehow he did. (Maybe Lynette can enlighten me.) This was Kim's nature. He was always interested in what my kids were doing in school and other activities. He probably came to almost as many athletic events to watch my kids as he did his own. He came and supported me at Kelsey's wedding when he wasn't feeling well, before he had a diagnosis but knowing that his life was about to change. I wished we'd had more time with him. I will be forever grateful to Lynette for sharing him and allowing me to drive him to a few of his radiation treatments. The time that I was able to spend with him is priceless to me. I look forward to the day that I get to see him again. I will be excited to be greeted by him on the other side some day. I want to ask him (as he would say to me) "what the hell was that all about, you weren't supposed to go so soon!" I want to know exactly what he is doing and have all of the details. I can imagine our talk and his sense of humor while he is telling me about it. I will stay busy and be patient and try to get through every October as long as nothing else goes wrong during this month!